Title: Trust, Road Trips & Teen Independence: Where Do You Draw the Line?

Recently, I had my 17 year old tell me that he and some friends were planning a road trip out of town. I try not to be the parent that’s overly strict and overbearing, but I’m not really comfortable with him and these other underage kids going out of town by themselves without an adult chaperone.

On one hand, I remember being that age craving freedom, feeling like I knew everything, and just wanting a little space from home. And truthfully, I want my boys to explore life, have meaningful experiences, and make memories with their friends. I don’t want to parent from a place of fear, but let’s be honest: the world is different now. And as a mom, my job is still to protect him, even if that means saying “not right now” to something he’s excited about.

I try to parent from a place of caution, not control. My goal has always been to raise strong, capable young men who know how to think things through and move wisely. That means sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no, and sometimes we meet in the middle.

So what does compromise look like when your teen wants more freedom?

Here are a few things I consider before making a decision:

1. Who’s going, and do I know them?
I always want to know the names of the kids involved, not to be nosy, but because who our kids surround themselves with matters. Good friends can keep each other safe. Irresponsible ones? Not so much.

2. What’s the plan?
Vague details are a red flag for me. I want to know where they’re going, what the itinerary looks like, where they’re staying, and how they’re getting there. If your teen can’t give you those answers, they’re not ready to go.

3. Is there an adult I trust involved?
I’m not saying I need to chaperone everything (although I’ll gladly take a backseat and hang out in a hotel nearby if needed). But having at least one responsible adult around gives me peace of mind, especially for overnight trips.

4. Can we do a “test run” first?
Before a full on out of state trip, maybe they can take a shorter one like a day trip or weekend getaway a little closer to home. Let them show you they can handle that responsibly first.

5. Can we set clear expectations?
Curfews, check-ins, emergency contacts, money management, these are all things that need to be discussed beforehand. I’m big on clear communication. If you want freedom, you have to be accountable.

Parenting Tip: You don’t have to say “yes” or “no” immediately.

Sometimes I’ll tell my son, “Let me think on it,” and that gives me time to check in with myself, pray about it, and really weigh the decision without reacting out of emotion.

Letting our kids grow up is hard, especially when that growth includes letting them out of our sight. But I also don’t want to clip their wings out of fear. I want them to feel trusted and I want to be able to trust that I’ve raised them with enough wisdom to make the right choices when I’m not around.

So now I’m turning it to you…

Would you let your teenage child go on an out of state road trip with friends?
Have you already done it? Would you do it differently now? Or are you standing firm on a “not yet”?

Let me know in the comments or message me on Facebook or Instagram I’d love to hear your take.