Drop It: When Carrying Other People’s Burdens Costs You Your Peace

For the past two years, I have been wrestling with deep unhappiness in my career. I remember when I first started out, how excited I was to meet new people. Many felt comfortable with me quickly and would share intimate details about their lives. I felt honored to be a safe space. I listened without judgment and often found myself stepping in to help fix whatever they were facing.

The truth is, no one asked me to carry their burdens. I volunteered. I took on their battles, their stress, their emotions, and their light. Too often, my helpfulness quietly created tension and even enemies that I never saw coming.

People learned they could call on me to fix things or stand up for them. What I did not realize was how much that role was costing me. Carrying what was never mine slowly wore me down mentally and emotionally.

After twenty years in Human Resources, I had become an unlicensed counselor, attorney, and mediator. The work felt heavy. I would come home mentally exhausted, already dreading the next day. For the past eleven months, I have stepped away from HR leadership roles and shifted into consulting and creating space for things that actually bring me peace.

During this time, my nervous system finally had room to breathe. No longer absorbing the constant weight of employee and employer conflict showed me just how depleted I had been.

As I begin new chapters in my life, I am choosing alignment over obligation. Not every day has been blissful, but a close friend reminded me where my peace lives. After breaking down on the phone one day, she gently said, “Why don’t you go to your garden? That is your happy place.” Thank you, Shema.

That moment stayed with me. Peace does not arrive overnight. It is cultivated through boundaries, honesty, and release. When your hands are full carrying other people’s light, there is no room left to build your own.

What have you been carrying that was never yours to hold?
If this post resonated with you, I would love for you to share your thoughts in the comments. Sometimes naming it is the first step toward putting it down.