Do I Owe You an Explanation? Navigating Silent Cut-Offs and Protecting Your Peace

I recently came across a post where someone talked about doing “silent cut-offs”—you know, where someone removes themselves from a relationship or group without offering an explanation. The young woman explained that the person who caused the offense knew what they did. In her eyes, there was no need for a conversation, no need to unpack what they already knew they broke. She simply moved on in silence.

And whew… I felt that.

Because I’ve done it too. There have been times when I just didn’t have the emotional capacity to walk someone through their offense. I didn’t have the bandwidth to make it make sense for them. More importantly, I didn’t want to disturb my own peace in trying to explain something I barely had the words for myself.

At the time, I didn’t even recognize it as a boundary. I just knew I was choosing me.

I’ve been in group chats where people have just disappeared—no heads-up, no goodbye, just gone. I used to take it personally, wondering if I had done something wrong. But now? I totally get it. People are fighting battles we don’t see, doing the hard work of protecting their peace, and sometimes that means walking away from what no longer aligns with them—even if it’s without explanation.

But here’s where I wrestle a bit…

What if the person you cut off reaches out and asks, “What happened?” Do you owe them an explanation?

What if it’s a family member? Someone you love, but had to love from afar for your own sanity. Are you required to explain your absence or your distance? Or is your silence enough of an answer?

This is where the line gets blurry. On one hand, I believe in accountability, growth, and mature conversations. But on the other hand, I also believe that not all closure requires conversation. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is walk away without opening the door again.

But what if your silence hurts someone the way their actions hurt you?

That’s the tightrope many of us walk. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes the healthiest thing is the conversation. Sometimes the healthiest thing is the quiet exit.

So here’s what I’ve come to realize:

• You don’t owe anyone access to your peace.

• You don’t owe everyone an explanation—but you can offer one if your spirit is willing and your heart is clear.

• Family ties don’t trump personal boundaries.

You can love someone deeply and still need space. You can care and still choose distance. And you can cut off a relationship without drama or dialogue and still be a good person.

This isn’t about ghosting to be spiteful. It’s about choosing your healing over their comfort.

So, if you’ve ever silently walked away, or if someone walked away from you without a word, maybe—just maybe—it wasn’t about avoidance. Maybe it was about preservation.

And that’s okay.

Let’s reflect:

Have you ever walked away from a relationship without offering an explanation? If so, was it about protecting your peace—or were you hoping they’d notice the silence and reflect on their actions? Would you handle it the same way today?