I have not been able to express myself on this platform in quite some time like I used to. For so many reasons, it has been a struggle for me to pull myself out of this funk that seems as if I’m never going to get out of because something always comes along and causes me to reset.
This funk I speak of is grief. Grief rears it’s head every time I think that I’m getting myself together to be strong enough to get through a day without shedding a tear. I’m not there yet, and I realize that its perfectly fine that I am not.
There’s no time limit on grief and I, you, we are allowed to grieve as long as it takes. Grief proves that there was a connection between you and whomever or whatever, and now that connection is broken. I feel that grief allows us to reconnect in an alternate way. So don’t fight it, just let it be.
As long as we’re alive and are able to love someone or something other than ourselves, grief will be the price we pay when that person or thing leaves us behind. My grandmother’s been in heaven for one year, and three days now and it still feels like her death just happened, but I do find solace knowing that she’s at peace. That makes me smile and also makes the reset that I often experience not so bad.